Why You Should Write a Gratitude Letter Today

Science finds expressing thanks boosts happiness

My middle school English teacher, Eugene Doherty, had served in World War II and had lost his right arm in the battle of Iwo Jima. He walked around the classroom with a silver hook (this was in the early 1980s, and prosthetics were not really what they are now). 

Mr. Doherty would write on the blackboard with the chalk in his hook, and regularly smoked cigarettes (again, times have changed!) while teaching with the cigarette clutched in this hook. As a 12-year-old, I found him pretty intimidating. 

But every single paper I ever wrote for his class was returned with tons and tons of feedback—expand, unpack, nice use of detail, tell me more here, and so on. And Mr. Doherty taught me how to write, and he’s why I have the career I have today - and why you are reading this newsletter today. His feedback is also precisely the type of feedback I now give to my own students today - as my current and former students will recognize.

I thought a lot about Mr. Doherty when I first read about the power of gratitude letters. This strategy, which was developed by Martin Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania (and really the founder of the field of positive psychology), asks people to think about someone who played a fundamental role in shaping their lives in some positive way. This person could be a teacher or a mentor or a family member.

Next, you write them a letter, describing what they did for you and how they shaped your life. The letter can be very short and shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes to write. (See this helpful link for some suggestions on what to include.) 

Finally, you go see that person and read the letter aloud. As you can probably imagine, reading the letter aloud - and watching the person’s response - feels pretty great. And of course hearing the letter also feels pretty good to the recipient (so it’s really a win win). 

Empirical research provides clear evidence for the benefits of writing a gratitude letter. People who write a gratitude letter - and make a gratitude visit - are happier and less depressed as long as a month after. Women with breast cancer who complete a six-week gratitude intervention, in which they spend 10 minutes writing a letter expressing gratitude to someone in their life each week, show better psychological well-being and adaptation to cancer. These findings tell us that expressing gratitude boosts happiness even among people who are struggling with serious and even life-threatening health conditions. 

So this week’s takeaway for you is to sit down and write a gratitude letter to someone who played a major role in shaping your life. 

This strategy is actually somewhat time urgent. Because I learned about the value of gratitude letters too late. After I learned Mr. Doherty had died, I wrote his widow a letter expressing what he had meant to me. I wish I could have read it aloud to him.

And now a question for you: Who are you writing a gratitude letter to, and what role did they play in shaping your life? Please share!