The Biggest Mistake People Make When Buying Presents

What science says about the power of experiences

My brother Matt has been a long-time season ticket holder for the Chicago Cubs baseball team. In October 2016 he called me to ask for advice about an unusual dilemma: what to do with the four tickets he had for a World Series game. One option was to take his wife and two kids to the game. Another option was to sell the tickets and make $10,000.

What was my advice? Well, I shared a key finding from the field of positive psychology that people who spend money on life experiences show greater happiness than those who spend money buying material possessions. So, spending money on tickets to the big game, a Broadway show, or a fabulous trip is a great way to increase happiness. Spending money on an expensive car, watch, or shoes, on the other hand, only has a fleeting impact on happiness.

Spending money on experiences feels so good in part because of the power of anticipation. After all, when you plan a trip you think for weeks and months ahead about where you’re going to go, what you’re going to see, and so on. And this type of anticipation helps explain why spending money on experiences leads to more enduring happiness. (Or as the Germans say, “Vorfreude ist die schönste Freude,” meaning “Anticipation is the greatest joy.”)

And the pleasure of anticipation is well-supported by science. Researchers in one study asked college students to participate in a “chocolate rating” study.  Half the students simply ate some Hershey’s Kisses or Hugs, and then rated how much they liked the chocolate. The other students were also asked to eat and then rate the chocolate - but only after waiting for thirty minutes. As you can probably predict, students who had to wait thirty minutes liked the chocolate much more than those who ate it immediately.

The findings from this research led me and my husband to fundamentally change the types of gifts we give our children at Christmas each year. We buy an experience that our kids can then anticipate - tickets to a Celtics game, Hamilton, or the Dancing with the Stars tour. (And just FYI - as it turns out, the Dancing with the Stars tour is not the most appropriate choice for an eleven-year-old girl.)

And the findings from this research also convinced my brother that the best choice was to take his family to the game and enjoy that shared experience.  

So, here’s my favorite go to strategy whenever I need an instant mood boost: I spend a few minutes on the Rick Steves’ travel forum … and start planning away. 

And now a question for you: what’s a favorite experience you’ve ever bought for someone else or received as a gift? Please share!