So sad to lose a parent at age 57 and celebrating her on her birthday is a beautiful way to honor her. I’m always very touched when my brother’s high school friends reach out to me to commemorate his birthday. Loss shared does seem to lighten the load. For my bother’s and my parents’ birthdays, I light a special candle and try to have their favorite meal for dinner. It’s my way of letting them know I still miss them.
I love that your brother's friends reach out to you to commemorate his birthday - and I also love the ideas of lighting a candle and having a loved one's favorite meal. That's exactly why my brother always goes to Dairy Queen. I may adopt your candle tradition - that seems very simple and meaningful. Thank you for sharing!
Your message this week is so important - and a reminder to not forget people who have suffered a significant loss. We’re all busy people - and after the funeral is over, we tend to get back to our own lives. Thank you for your weekly insights.
Thanks for the kind words - and yes, I've become so much more intentional about reaching out to people who've experienced a loss after losing my mom. It's a great example of how small gestures can mean so much, especially when someone is grieving.
Catherine, I'm so sorry your mom died at 57. That's too young to go. Happy heavenly birthday to her :)
Your mom and my oldest sister share a birthday today. It's also the same day my mom died just two years ago. I sit here at my desk at work, just as I did two years ago when my sister called and said, "Judy, this is the call." It was as hard for my sister to make that call as it was for me to receive it.
Today's date has such significance for me, but for others, it's just another day. My coworkers are unaware of what today means to me. It was the same last year on her first death anniversary. I'm sure the reverse is true. There are most likely dates very important to others that are of no consequence to me.
You're so right about those little things that mean so much. I know how good those make me feel, so I try to do that for others. A previous coworker left for California yesterday. Her flight was scheduled to leave at 1:00pm. I texted her at 12:55pm wishing her a happy takeoff. I don't know if she read the text yet, but I know if I received something like that, it would make me smile.
Thank you again for providing your thoughtful writings each week. Although I don't always respond to each one, please know I read them and value your insights.
Thanks, Judy, for the kind words - and what an amazing coincidence that July 16th is also meaningful to you. I hope you took care of yourself that day - and maybe had a chance to connect with your sister?
I think it's a good reminder to us all that little gestures matter - like sending the text wishing someone a happy takeoff!
And thanks for the kind words about this newsletter - it's actually a wonderful opportunity for me to sit and think about what the research says about feeling better ... and almost always a reminder to myself about what I should be doing myself!!! I'm so glad you have enjoyed them.
Your share made me smile. My husband of 67 years died 3 years ago and I did take solo time to successfully handle my feelings and find my new path. Once ready to rejoin friends, relatives and new adventures, I wrote an upbeat letter that I circulated to all who knew him. I got back notes of all levels of concern, but one was so simple and on target that it continues to delight me. I actually laugh and feel the warmth and love I fully experienced in my own marriage. It's from a nephew-in-law who we met at his own wedding to my niece. All this new groom wrote and still sends every year on his own anniversary, reads: "He was the happiest, most attractive, smiling dude at my wedding." For me that remains a powerful, healing, insightful hug that inspires me every day to share and care as my husband did!
“But the most remarkable finding was that some students actually felt better in the year after experiencing this tragedy.” Which gets at the matter of post traumatic growth. I’ve read some of what Rich Tedeschi has written about PTG. It seems that having an “expert companion” (someone who’s been through what you’ve been through and who can walk alongside you as you heal/recover) is a key factor I. Promoting growth.
So sad to lose a parent at age 57 and celebrating her on her birthday is a beautiful way to honor her. I’m always very touched when my brother’s high school friends reach out to me to commemorate his birthday. Loss shared does seem to lighten the load. For my bother’s and my parents’ birthdays, I light a special candle and try to have their favorite meal for dinner. It’s my way of letting them know I still miss them.
I love that your brother's friends reach out to you to commemorate his birthday - and I also love the ideas of lighting a candle and having a loved one's favorite meal. That's exactly why my brother always goes to Dairy Queen. I may adopt your candle tradition - that seems very simple and meaningful. Thank you for sharing!
So glad we have this community. Thank you!
Love this community!!!
Your message this week is so important - and a reminder to not forget people who have suffered a significant loss. We’re all busy people - and after the funeral is over, we tend to get back to our own lives. Thank you for your weekly insights.
Thanks for the kind words - and yes, I've become so much more intentional about reaching out to people who've experienced a loss after losing my mom. It's a great example of how small gestures can mean so much, especially when someone is grieving.
Catherine, I'm so sorry your mom died at 57. That's too young to go. Happy heavenly birthday to her :)
Your mom and my oldest sister share a birthday today. It's also the same day my mom died just two years ago. I sit here at my desk at work, just as I did two years ago when my sister called and said, "Judy, this is the call." It was as hard for my sister to make that call as it was for me to receive it.
Today's date has such significance for me, but for others, it's just another day. My coworkers are unaware of what today means to me. It was the same last year on her first death anniversary. I'm sure the reverse is true. There are most likely dates very important to others that are of no consequence to me.
You're so right about those little things that mean so much. I know how good those make me feel, so I try to do that for others. A previous coworker left for California yesterday. Her flight was scheduled to leave at 1:00pm. I texted her at 12:55pm wishing her a happy takeoff. I don't know if she read the text yet, but I know if I received something like that, it would make me smile.
Thank you again for providing your thoughtful writings each week. Although I don't always respond to each one, please know I read them and value your insights.
Thanks, Judy, for the kind words - and what an amazing coincidence that July 16th is also meaningful to you. I hope you took care of yourself that day - and maybe had a chance to connect with your sister?
I think it's a good reminder to us all that little gestures matter - like sending the text wishing someone a happy takeoff!
And thanks for the kind words about this newsletter - it's actually a wonderful opportunity for me to sit and think about what the research says about feeling better ... and almost always a reminder to myself about what I should be doing myself!!! I'm so glad you have enjoyed them.
Susan Hindle
Your share made me smile. My husband of 67 years died 3 years ago and I did take solo time to successfully handle my feelings and find my new path. Once ready to rejoin friends, relatives and new adventures, I wrote an upbeat letter that I circulated to all who knew him. I got back notes of all levels of concern, but one was so simple and on target that it continues to delight me. I actually laugh and feel the warmth and love I fully experienced in my own marriage. It's from a nephew-in-law who we met at his own wedding to my niece. All this new groom wrote and still sends every year on his own anniversary, reads: "He was the happiest, most attractive, smiling dude at my wedding." For me that remains a powerful, healing, insightful hug that inspires me every day to share and care as my husband did!
“But the most remarkable finding was that some students actually felt better in the year after experiencing this tragedy.” Which gets at the matter of post traumatic growth. I’ve read some of what Rich Tedeschi has written about PTG. It seems that having an “expert companion” (someone who’s been through what you’ve been through and who can walk alongside you as you heal/recover) is a key factor I. Promoting growth.